Originally published on Post-Modern Sleaze and still available in full (14/07/16).
“Wow!” is the first this that sprang to mind after watching the final episode of season 6. The second was “It was perfect.” It was paid into fan speculation and theory, surprised us and even underwhelmed us. The narratives of all the main players in this series were rounded up neatly (in this super-long episode!) as we feel the chill of the winds of winter.
We open at Kingslanding, and everyone is tense on the morning of the trials of Cersei and Loras Tyrell. Remember, previously, that King Tommen had abolished the right to a trial-by-combat under the instruction of the High Sparrow. This is a trial by the Gods, and we all know how fair that is. Loras (Finn Jones) goes first, overlooked by a court packed with people including Kevan Lannister, his father – Mace Tyrell – and his sister, Margaery (Natalie Dormer). He doesn’t hold out for long, confessing to sins such as homosexuality and laying with traitor Renly Baratheon. He swears to serve the Seven, denouncing his titles and right to sire children, a fact the High Sparrow (Jonathan Pryce) is quick to solidify by having the Seven Pointed Star carved into his forehead.
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Originally published and still available on Post-Modern Sleaze (21/06/16).
BRR! BRR! You know the drill: spoiler time once again, and a couple of biggies this episode. Some bigger than Drogon.
Going against this season’s tradition of starting every episode up t’North, we find ourselves in Meereen which, at the end of the last episode, was being firebombed by the Master’s fleet of ships. Understandably, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is not impressed; sure it’s been a while since she was spirited away, but it was barely any time in the grand scheme of things. It even served her well, as she acquired an army of Dothraki (read: every tribe) in the process. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) actually looks sheepish as he answers to his queen on the how’s and why’s of the city being bombarded. Together with Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) and Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel), the pair state their claims: that the Masters broke their agreement with Tyrion and, in attacking Meereen, they are being treacherous. Daenerys frees Rhaegal and Viserion from their prison – the pair are noticeably smaller than Drogon – and together the three destroy the Master’s army (all, somehow, without burning their fleet of ships. Convenient, right?).
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Originally published and still available on Post-Modern Sleaze (10/06/16).
Spoiler spoiler everywhere, be wise or you’ll be in for a scare!
What’s that coming over the hill, chop-chop-chopping wood as he goes? It’s not… can it be… The Hound!? It’s a bold first shot for this week’s episode (can you believe that we’re on week seven already!? Where is the time going?), but depending on how much of a social media denizen you are, you may or may not have already seen some compromising theories pertaining to such over the peat week or two. I’ll link the Cleganebowl theory HERE should you be as much of a speculative and nosy and self-spoiling obsessive as I.
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Originally published on Post-Modern Sleaze (26/05/16).
OK, so, you know when you usually get told that this review is ‘MAJOR SPOILER’? Well this one is M.A.J.O.R S.P.O.I.L.E.R! Please take heed and watch episode 6 before reading this; any damage done here is irreparable.
As so above. If you were situated on the wrong side of the Atlantic come Monday morning, then the Internet was a dangerous place to be, especially social media, and especially Twitter. There’s only so many times you can see the hashtag #HoldTheDoor before you clutch your face, delete your apps and put your phone on aeroplane mode, but alas, this is what we are dealing with here. It’s one of those ones.
Originally published on Post-Modern Sleaze (17/05/16).
As is always, MAJOR SPOILER! If you’ve yet to watch, take heed; it’s a goodun (you’ll need a cuppa after this one).
After years of misfortune and misery, it seems dear Sansa (Sophie Turner) is on a stroke of luck. After escaping Ramsay Bolton’s clutches by jumping from Winterfell with Theon/Reek and being found by Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) and Pod, she has now been delivered (finally) to one of the remaining members of her family after 239751 false starts. Seeing Sansa and Jon set eyes on each other for the first time since Season 1 Episode 2 (yes, really) is surprisingly emotional; she’s all grown up whilst he is dead-undead. If the laws of nature were paramount, then their reunion would never have happened and we would have false-start-part-239752 on our hands – but alas, thankfully, they are not, and deservedly so; that poor girls needs a break.
MAJOR SPOILER: HEED THE WARNINGS
It’s been a whole nine months (give or take) and after burning speculation and arduous anticipation, Game Of Thrones is back on our screens. And not a moment too soon; there’s only so long Kit Harington can pretend that his continued curly tangle is a lifestyle choice and not a contractual one, but thanks to an interview from back in March we know that Jon Snow will definitely return in Season 6… as a corpse.